TwiDrabbles
by A.A. Silver
Summary: This is basically drabbles between me and evil me Kain . The Twilight characters WILL be included though. Please R&R. X3
1. Judaism

**Chapter 1**

**Judaism**

Me: I really don't like school, do you Kain?

Kain: I wouldn't know, I'm a figment of your imagination; I… don't… go… to… school!

Me: Says you.

Kain: *Arrogantly* who better to know

Me: *Glares*

Kain: What?

Me: You know very well what.

Kain: No I don't!

Me: Yes you _do_!

Kain: Couldn't you just leave me alone!?

Me: …. No.

Kain: You created me so I can't badmouth you too much.

Me: Actually, I created you to offer an opposite vantage point from mine to debate with when I'm bored.

Kain: That was oddly profound for you.

Me: JUDAISM!!!

Kain: …. The profoundness is gone.

-5 minutes later-

Me: I could murder a root beer.

Kain: What does that even mean?

Me: I dunno, I read it in a book.

Kain: What book?

Me: You should know; you're in my head all the time.

Kain: Tell me anyway, ya nit!

Me: Nice people might say please.

Kain: I ain't nice am I?

Me: No.

Kain: So tell me!

Me: The book is called _Into the Ravine_ **(A/N: Is by Richard Scrimger, is a good book.) **

Kain: Okay then.

-10 minutes and 5 blocks later-

Me: OH NO, IT'S TEH BUMBLE BRE **(A/N: Thanks to the writer of 'Notes Galore' for that one; sorry I used it without permission)**

Kain: Oy vey.

Me: GET HIM SOLDIERS!!!

Kain: What?!

Jewish Soldiers: KWANZAA!!!

Kain: Aw _shiz_!

-5 minutes later; after Kain has been beaten and slashed by the Jews-

Kain: Ouch! That hurt… a lot!

Me: Good. You deserved it.

Kain: What'd I do!?

Me: You insulted their religion.

Kain: How!?

Me: You said 'Oy Vey'.

Kain: So!?

Me: That is a Jewish phrase and therefore insulted their religion.

Kain: Hmph, stupid Judaism!

End of Chapter 1


	2. Insulting Vampires Leads to Trouble

**Chapter 2**

**Insulting Vampires Leads to Trouble**

Me: I love the Twilight series, is so good

Kain: …

Me: What?

Kain: Nothin'

Me: That sounds like a somethin' nothin'

Kain: What does that mean?

Me: I don't know, but people say it on TV so it must be true

Kain: Oy—

Me: Don't finish that sentence! Remember what happened last time?

Kain: Oh yeah, thanks.

Me: That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.

Kain: Sure, sure.

Me: Don't go all Jacob Black on me now.

Kain: Why would I do that? Twilight su—

Me: Don't finish that sentence! They has ears everywhere!

Voice from _The Ring_: 7 days, days, days

Kain: What the hell?

Me: I… don't know.

Kain: (In thoughts) maybe I'll try to take over this body again.

Me: Don't even think about it!

Kain: What?

Me: Taking over my body!

Kain: But I didn't _say_ anything about doing that!

Me: I can hear your thoughts!

Kain: How!?

Me: It's _my_ imagination.

Kain: Damn it!

-20 minutes later; I'm deep in thought; debating with Kain in the Imagination City Square. Imagination City is the Capital City of my Brain-

Me: Twilight is _not_ a horrible excuse for a book!

Kain: Yes it is!

Me: No it's not!!!

Kain: _Yes _it is!!!

-Copy of Twilight begins to shake uncontrollably-

-I open the copy of Twilight and the Vampires come out swiftly-

Edward: What's this about the story of our life being poorly written?

Renesmee: I may not have been around for as long of the rest of my family, but I'm still mad!

Me: Ooooooooooooooooooh, you gonna get it now!

Kain: Are you gonna help me?

Me: Nope!

Kain: Why not?!

Me: 'Cause you're a skunkbag.

Kain: That may be true, but don't let them kill me!

Me: No promises!

-20 minutes later, after Kain has received several painful beatings from the Vamps-

Kain: Uuuuuuuuuuuuuhn! That hurt… a lot!

Me: That's what you get for making fun of vampires!

Kain: *Falls down unconscious*

Me: I thought that guy would never shut up.


	3. Swords and Metal Pipes

Chapter 3 

Swords and Metal Pipes

Me: -Stares at Edward-  
Edward: What the heck are you staring at?  
Me: Vampires of course, I'm not used to seeing them

Edward: Then why are you staring at me?  
Me: You're the fastest vampire and if I look away you'll be gone when I look back.  
Edward: -Gets that cartoony raindrop thing on the side of his head-  
Me: -Laughs-  
Edward: -Raindrop thing gets bigger-  
Me: I'm gonna stare at another vampire, you don't do anything.  
Edward: -Raindrop thing gets WAY bigger-  
Me: -Stares at Alice-  
Me: -In thoughts- Yup, way better view.  
Alice: ...What are you staring at?  
Me: A vampire of course silly, what else would I be staring at?  
Alice: Since you're at school, you might conceivably be staring at the board.  
Me: -In thoughts- Since I control Kain, maybe I could get him to throw pie at Alice to see what happens.  
Me: Hey Kain, get over here!  
Kain: What the hell do you want now!  
Me: I want you to do something for me.  
Kain: Do you have brain damage, I don't like you, why would I do something for you?  
Me: 'Cause I can control you! Ha ha.  
Kain: Dammit -Picks up a pie-  
Kain: -Throws pie at Alice-  
Alice: -Is hit by pie-  
Alice: YOU STUPID KID!!! YOU GOT PIE IN MY HAIR AND ALL OVER MY CLOTHES Kain: You only wear them once anyway.  
Me: Dance puppets, DANCE!  
Alice: -Takes out sword and metal pipe-  
Kain: Oh crap!  
Kain: -Is beaten and slashed by Alice's sword and metal pipe-  
Kain: O-owch.  
Me: Serves you right.  
Kain: Y-you made me do that!  
Me: I just wanted to see what would happen if you did that and now I know not to do that.  
Kain: I hate you.  
To be continued...


End file.
